The Power to Generate
Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 11:35AM I was amazed to walk out yesterday from a tea date with a friend and find my car gone. Much to my dismay, it was not in the place I left it and after combing neighboring streets several times to make sure I had not parked somewhere else, I concluded it had either been towed or stolen. Fortunately it was the former.
Once I knew what happened, what surprised me most was how calm I felt with respect to the amount of money I would need to pay to have my car retrieved. It was disposable income I did not have or had not planned for, a situation that can oftentimes occur with motor vehicles.
It reminded me of an experience I had two years ago when I forked over $1,000 for unexpected car maintenance. Again it was money that I desperately needed for other things. Then, the situation had made me extremely anxious and annoyed. I was outwardly angry at the world for my particular hardship and inwardly extremely fearful of not being able to survive that month. My body closed, and my trust in money closed with it.
This time something was different. I knew the towing would be expensive, but I had also built a new muscle within. Over the last two years what changed in my life is that I started my own business. Granted that came with much inner work of facing the fears that starting a business can have, but I had gained a muscle of power by learning to generate my own income. I knew that I had the power to generate additional income to offset this circumstance.
Knowing that I generate my income is now the sense of safety that holds me. I trust in myself to provide and to open to the opportunities that come my way. That said, I can sometimes still hear the voice of my little girl inside of me who would sometimes prefer being rescued and whisked off in the sunset by her prince, and knowing her makes me smile. She helps me keep a sense of magic alive, but it is my ability to generate and to relate to changing circumstances that keeps me sustained in all that is unfolding.
I realize more and more that the power to generate is one of the most basic fuels we have, and whose price increases exponentially the more it is exercised. It is a commodity I choose, and hopefully can encourage others to do as well, not to give away.
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